Take Valentine's Day from Chaotic to Complimentary with Valentine's Day Compliments
Valentine’s Day in the upper elementary classroom can be a whirlwind of sugary treats, paper cards, and chaos. While I absolutely loved celebrating this fun holiday with my students during my years of teaching, there was always something about the traditional Valentine’s exchange that didn’t sit quite right with me. Some students would come with extravagant cards and gifts, while others came empty-handed—not because they didn’t want to participate, but because their families couldn’t afford to. This disparity felt unfair, and I knew I wanted to create a more inclusive and meaningful way for my students to celebrate the holiday.
So, instead of the usual card exchange, I decided to shift the focus of Valentine’s Day in my classroom. I introduced a new tradition: Valentine’s Day Compliments for Classmates. This activity leveled the playing field and fostered a stronger sense of community and kindness among my students.
Why Traditional Valentine’s Day Exchanges Don’t Work for Everyone
While the idea of students exchanging Valentines is wonderful, it can unintentionally create stress and discomfort for many families. Parents might feel pressure to buy expensive cards or gifts, while students might feel left out if they can’t participate equally. And let’s not forget the emotional toll it can take on students who don’t receive as many cards or feel excluded.
Valentine’s Day should be a day of love and kindness, not competition or anxiety. That’s why I decided to focus on something every student could freely give: Valentine’s Day compliments.
Building Community Through Compliments
By replacing traditional Valentines with heartfelt Valentine’s Day compliments, we were able to focus on what Valentine’s Day is truly about: celebrating and appreciating one another. This shift not only eliminated the financial burden on families but also gave students an opportunity to practice kindness and build each other up. And as an added bonus, it aligned beautifully with our classroom social-emotional learning goals.
How Valentine’s Day Compliments Work
Here’s how I organized our Valentine’s Day Compliments activity:
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Preparation: A week before Valentine’s Day, I explained to my students that instead of bringing traditional cards or treats, we would spend time writing Valentine’s Day compliments for every classmate. I provided them with templates with prompts like, “Something I admire about you is…” and “You’re great at…” to help guide their writing.
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Brainstorming: We spent time as a class brainstorming examples of meaningful Valentine’s Day compliments. We talked about how compliments should be specific and genuine—for example, “You always help me when I’m stuck” is much more impactful than “You’re nice.”
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Writing: Over a few days, students worked on their Valentine’s Day compliments. I provided plenty of support for students who needed help spelling or coming up with ideas. The goal was for every student to write a compliment for every classmate.
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Presentation: On Valentine’s Day, we celebrated our Valentine’s Day compliments. I handed out each student’s stack of compliments, which we had written in our best handwriting. Watching their faces light up as they read what their classmates had written was truly priceless.
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Reflection: To wrap up the activity, we spent some time reflecting on how it felt to give and receive Valentine’s Day compliments. Students shared their favorite compliments and talked about how they could continue to show kindness to one another beyond Valentine’s Day.
A Valentine’s Day to Remember
his simple shift completely changed Valentine’s Day in my classroom. Instead of focusing on material things, we focused on building each other up. Students felt seen and valued, and the positive energy in the classroom was contagious. Even my more reserved students participated and were visibly moved by the kind words they received.
This activity also had lasting effects on our classroom culture. Students began complimenting each other more regularly, and I noticed a stronger sense of community and mutual respect.
Try Valentine's Day Compliments in Your Classroom
If you’re looking for a more inclusive, meaningful way to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your students, I encourage you to give this activity a try. Not only does it eliminate the financial stress of traditional Valentine’s exchanges, but it also teaches students the value of kindness and the power of words.
Want to make this activity even easier to implement? I’ve created a ready-to-use Valentine’s Day Compliments template you can download from my TPT store. It includes writing prompts, decorative borders, and everything you need to get started. Let’s make Valentine’s Day a day of kindness and connection in every classroom!
Looking for other fun and creative ideas for Valentine’s Day in your Upper Elementary classroom? Check out this blog post.
